A faithful friend is a sturdy shelter; he that has found one has found a treasure.  There is nothing so precious as a faithful friend, and no scales can measure his excellence.  A faithful friend is an elixir of life, and those who fear the Lord will find him.”  (Sirach 6: 14-16)

Some time has passed since I’ve used this space.  The world seems so full of people expressing opinions and adding their “two cents” that quiet seemed like my best contribution.  However, I ran into an old acquaintance a few weeks ago that was struggling with a friendship issue, and it was eating at her.  She described her friendship as valuable, and yet she was troubled about what it was costing her.  I asked her to sit down with me for a few minutes and we talked.  I asked a few clarifying questions so that she had the chance to properly vent.  I find that most folks just need to exhale, and I had time to offer her that courtesy.

When we were finished with our chat, she said, “Shelly.  You should write more.  The world needs to hear from faith-filled people like you.” Kind words, for sure.  I heard them as a nudge.

Today’s post is nothing fancy, but what if the Holy Spirit was speaking through this gal?  I sure don’t want to ignore that. This post is for you, sweet friend.  It’s what I tried to impart at the back of church about what I believe my front row friends look like– these are the people to whom I’d issue my VIP seats. This version of my side of our narthex chat has a few extra words and predicates in most of the sentences.

Here I go.

I have no concept of what it means to whisper.  I’m loud and I can’t seem to fix it.  Evidently, speaking in all caps is just what I do.  Dozens of times I have been reminded by my youngest son that the people on the other end of the phone call are likely not hearing impaired, and I needn’t conduct the conversation as if that’s the case.

My front row friends don’t care that I’m loud, or fat, or if my steering wheel is sticky.  They laugh with me when my oven breaks down and I am whining about it AGAIN.  When I am worried about the second mammogram, or when my Dad’s in the hospital, they cover me in prayers I cannot always offer myself.

These are human beings who call on me to level up when I’m acting like a half-witted buffoon, and they also remind me that I’m loved beyond words (even when I’m being a dolt).

“To like many people spontaneously and without effort is perhaps the greatest of all sources of personal happiness.”  Bertrand Russell

I’ve got no idea who Bertrand Russell is, but he’s absolutely right.  I believe his words apply to me and to my life.  That said, there is a difference between friendships, and today, I’m feeling particular gratitude for my “front row” people.  These are NOT effortless friendships.  At all.

With these folks, my little failings are forgiven.  We’ve shared tears of both joy and sorrow.  I choose them, and they choose me.  They appreciate my virtues and remind me of my goodness.  They are sunlight in the darkest January ever on record in the state of Indiana.  They make this big, crazy, politically charged insanity we call life less lonely.  The news is depressing, the internet is a rabbit hole, and two beautiful humans I gave birth to are about to make me a mother-in-law.  They remind me to pray about all of it and leave the rest in God’s loving hands.  I endeavor always to be the same for them.  Things aren’t always equal, but they are reciprocal.

Get yourself a friend who will walk with you in the rain and be filled with joy at your joy.  Some lovely humans talk to you in their free time, and some free their schedules to talk to you.  Notice the difference.  Celebrate the latter, and invest in them.  Thank Jesus for them.

I cannot let go of the one who encouraged me in faith at a low moment.  “It’s going to be fine.  Welcome back.  You just forgot who you are for a moment.”  It felt sort of like the opposite of unrequited love.  Though not the same as romantic love, it nevertheless felt to me like love returned in full.  That’s the kind of mutual friendship I hope everyone finds at least once in this life.

If you’ve not experienced it yet, it’s never too late.  Your time is coming.  To get from here to there, the path is simple.  To gain a friend, one must be a friend.  Ask Jesus to bring you a holy friend.  He knows exactly who you need, and when.

This “back to blogging post” might have been inspired by the Holy Spirit who spoke through a beautiful soul who showed up unexpected into my day a few weeks back, but I only knew how to help her because of my girl gang.  They taught me what true friendships look like.

To my “framily”…you’re pretty much my most favorite of all time in the history of ever.  Thank you for always being the light. I love you.